forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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