We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
