You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
