Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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