no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
