i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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