I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she looked like the before picture.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i now understand why vodka
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
