sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
love makes seman taste better
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
