Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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