you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my being single is dangerous.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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