She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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