when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize