he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
