Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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