Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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