You smell like stripper and shame
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
