He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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