Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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