She said her name was "party"
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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