capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
