My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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