Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
