I heard we made out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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