arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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