Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize