That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
