I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
