My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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