That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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