Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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