when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
