my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i came on her dog
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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