Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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