I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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