My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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