you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
