I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
