those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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