It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
