I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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