I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
