he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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