We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
