The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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