well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My ass is underappreciated
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
