I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Houston, we have a squirter
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
