my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
