trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
