He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
false alarm. still invincible.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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