He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
