Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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