i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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