It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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