we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
