Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
