Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We have started to decorate penises.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
