ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
