I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
