Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
