Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
