I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
