OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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