DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
