Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
