Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm both gender and math confused
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
