We named our party play list daddy issues
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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